Leaves Don't Exist

In Humanities today I was told that needles don't exist. Only each individual needle, because they are all different. Categories don't exist (lions, books, chairs, etc), only individuals (each book, chair, and lion). Every individual thing is different from every other thing, but we sort them into groups so we don't go insane trying to see each indivudal, say, blade of grass. I was thinking about this idea through the morning (I've been doing that after each class, actually) and was trying to understand it, but kept running into problems.

Later in the afternoon, I ended up with some extra free time. My dorm was far away, and I ended up laying on my back under a tree in front of the Administration Building for a good fifteen minutes just looking at it. I am now a firm believer in the statement: Leaves don't exist. Each leaf is different. At first, it was hard to see, but there were differences between each and every leaf that I looked at on that tree. I felt very must like a poet, I'll admit. I could have stayed there a lot longer, but eventually I had to go to class.

I got up and started walking to Memorial Hall, only to stop in my tracks. There was a squirrel eating a pinecone, or whatever squirrels eat, on a branch on another tree just in front of me. I walked right up to the tree, expecting it to run away. It definitely saw me, but it didn't leave, just went back to its meal. I can't recall ever looking at an individual squirrel closely before. Its eyes were black and beady, its tail was beautiful, and it could chew really fast. I felt for a moment like Veruca Salt in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in the squirrel room when she tries to grab a squirrel. I soon realized, however, that I didn't really want to own it, I just wanted to watch it. It was so engrossed in its pinecone (or whatever) and I didn't want to leave. It wasn't that I didn't want to go choir, because I love to sing, but it seemed so right to just stay outside and follow the squirrel around and find differences in leaves......

I always knew I was a hopeless romantic when it comes to love, but I am agreeing with everything else the Romantics say as well. I felt just like William Wilberforce in a really great movie, Amazing Grace, when he's in a conversation with his butler. He says, "I know there are a thousand things I have to do today, but I'd rather sit in the grass, marveling at bloody spider's webs."

So my challenge to myself (and whoever wants to take it, I guess), is going to be: Don't put people in categories. Cheerleaders don't exist. Theatre kids don't exist. Druggies don't exist. There might be someone who is a cheerleader, but there are many things that set her apart from other cheerleaders. Same for any of the other imaginary categories. I want people to see me as more than a theatre geek, or a singer, or a bookworm, or an older sister, or any of the myriad of aspects that make me who I am. Not even my name is enough. I want people to see me as myself, so I'm going to try and see other people like that.

Anyway, I dare you to go realize for yourself that categories don't exist. It's true- I can't think of a single exception. :)

Moments in the Woods

Humanities today got into more Romantic philosophy and I am really enjoying it. The philosophy that I enjoyed the most was the one about enjoying the moment. Wylie Sypher said, "The romantic self heroically involved the whole world in the experience of the moment." Before Romanticism, a person wouldn't say things like, "Stop and smell the flowers," because that wouldn't be considered a practical use of time. But a romantic person believes that we all have in life are moments, and though we know that they won't last forever, we still need to enjoy them.

I am going to start applying the idea of recognizing and enjoying sensual moments to my life. Oh, and let me clarify one thing: Sensuality is different than sexuality. Sensuality is like enjoying a moment with all that you have, using as many senses as possible, knowing that nothing exactly like it will ever occur again. Sexuality is a part of sensuality, but not all sensuality is sexual. All good? All good.
For me, some sensual moments are:

-Waking up and knowing that I don't have to get up.

-Holding the latest book from a series I love, opening it up and breathing in. I love the smell of a new book, and it almost seems like I can taste the story that's going to be told.

-Walking through grass barefoot.

-Laying on concrete when it's warm and feeling like I could stay there forever.

-Having the guy I like touch me, even in a very casual way. There's electricity there, and it's hard to notice anything else.

-Being really hungry and then pouring a bowl of Cheerios and eating them with really cold milk.

-Listening to a depressing song that perfectly captures the way I'm feeling and just sobbing. Not a happy one, but it just feels so right, in a weird way. Bittersweet moments can be appreciated just like joyful ones.

-Waiting offstage for the curtain to be opened, being so excited you can hardly breathe, and filled with nervous energy. Everything about this moment should be rememebered- the way the costume feels, the sound of the unseen, the sound of the orchestra warming up, everything.

-Holding flowers and breathing in really deeply.

-Seeing "Wicked" in St. Louis was pretty much one giant sensual moment made of thousands of smaller ones. I could never describe it.

I hope that you all can think of some sensual moments in your life- I think that recognizing them makes them much more valuable and enriches life. I'll end with some song lyrics from one of my favorite musicals, "Into the Woods."

Any moment big or small
Is a moment after all
Seize the moment
Skies may fall
Any moment.

Days are made of moments
All are worth exploring
Many kinds of moments
None is worth ignoring.

All we have are moments
Memories for storing
One would be so boring.
Best to take the moment present
As a present for the moment.

Leave the moment
Just be glad
For the moment
That we had
Every moment is of moment
When you're in the woods.

Oh if life were made of moments
Even now and then a bad one
But if life were only moments
Then you'd never know you had one.

Let the moment go
Don't forget it for a moment though.

(lyrics from the songs "Any Moment" and "Moments in the Woods".)

Rosseau, Moses, and the Declaration of Independence

In class today we learned about Jean-Jacques Rosseau, a Swiss born French philosopher who directly inspired the French Revolution. Rosseau's beliefs were revolutionary, because he rejected objectivity and believed in the individuality of man. I've got to say that I have agreed with just about everything he has said and I've been thinking about him all morning.
While reading my scriptures I came across this scripture in Moses 7:18: "And the Lord called His people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them." I think that Rosseau would seriously love this scripture. I couldn't believe how similar it was to what I just learned about. Rosseau believed that compassion was the natural response to human suffering, and that if we weren't told to do otherwise, we would all share what we had with those who didn't have it, eliminating poverty. He also believed that we as people are naturally good. Finally, he believed in a General Will, which seemed to me like when a bunch of people come together, they will naturally be able to come up with a common opinion, or being of "one heart and one mind." So I think that Rosseau would be agree that Zion would indeed have people dwelling in righteousness, coming to agreements, and having no poor among them.
Rosseau's ideas really excite me. Imagine if we all lived by the idea that human beings were naturally good! As it is, I think that we are expected to believe the worst in people, and then be surprised if they are honest or kind. Wouldn't it be great if we were shocked when people lied or stole, and honestly believed that people were inncoent until proven guilty? Isn't it amazing to think that each of the more than six billion people living on earth right now are all individuals? Thinking about the rights declared in our Declaration of Independence, that everyone has the right to "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness," it is obvious that Rosseau still has influence today. Anyway, those are some of my thoughts on Humanities class this week, hopefully I was able to tie it together the way I wanted to.